If you’ve spent any time at a city council meeting – anywhere, throughout the ages – then you know about open mic night.
It’s a weird, democratic tradition where anyone can get up and speak for 2 or 3 minutes – unfettered and often unbearable.
There are the regulars, those who usually have an ax to grind, believing they are self-important watchdogs or just like hearing themselves talk. And there are a surprising number of them, even in little Laguna Beach.
Every two weeks or so, they get up and rant. Conspiracy theories are popular. Alleged government cover-ups of one sort or another. It’s mostly just annoying because they waste time before the real agenda items get heard.
But to be fair, there’s usually a shred of truth, and if nothing else, the speakers are sometimes amusing. Plus, more importantly, once in a while there are some legitimate comments that people make.
The challenge is trying to differentiate between truth and insanity. So as a public service, here is a short recap of this year’s public comments that were either funny, whacked or genuinely compelling.
To start off, apparently Councilmember George Weiss was pulled over on his scooter in the canyon on May 3, after passing cars in the middle lane, which is illegal. At the May 16 council meeting, Ganka Brown, one of the regular speakers, inquired about the tactics Weiss used with the police officer.
She said: “Did you claim power? Did you cry? Did you threaten?”
We’ve heard crying does sometimes help.
At the same meeting, Chris Catsimanes, another regular, speculated about the Hotel Laguna ownership fiasco: “It sounds like it’s a criminal conspiracy.”
Always a conspiracy.
Not to be outdone, Michele Monda, who wins the award for most consistently angry speaker, started her soapbox with: “Wow, just wow.”
It was unclear at that point what she was talking about, but the patronizing tone was very clear. She added, “I’m a resident. I’m not some crazy woman talking about wild cucumber.”
And so it went.
Of course, the regulars quickly become irrelevant because it’s just human nature to ignore people who scream ALL … THE … TIME. So it’s nice when things are interrupted with some unintended humor.
Catsimanes (again) started his March 21 speech with, “The title of my talk tonight is, ‘A Curious Series of Events or a Fishy Tale.’”
Public comments now have literary titles.
But not everything is ridiculous. Laguna resident Brooks Atwood, a talented designer, architect and actor, made a very good suggestion at the March 7 meeting.
“If any storefront spaces sit empty for 30 days or more, they are automatically given to artists for studio space until the space is leased,” he said.
It’s unknown whether anyone in the city or business community followed up with that, but it is a brilliant suggestion. Atwood said several cities around the world do it successfully.
There were also some long-overdue requests to ban the gun-toting “cowboys” at the Patriots Day Parade. I wrote about this years ago. It’s an outdated, idiotic tradition. Julie Ruben and Howard Haas complained about it to the council.
“We can’t message to children that this is OK,” Haas said.
The few nuggets of goodness from the public are outweighed by the randomness.
Granted, I could provide context but it really doesn’t matter.
It’s also very funny when people subtly make fun of others or the process. Planning Commissioner Jorg Dubin, speaking as a resident to the council, started a recent short speech by saying, “I’m a 47-and-a-half-year resident of Laguna Beach.”
Exactly. When did stating the length of your residency become a thing?
We don’t know.
We don’t know whether public comments really do anything. Most just seem vindictive, made by people with way too much time on their hands.
But this is the way.
