It was summer in Laguna Beach, but Lojo Simon and Ava Burton were thinking of Christmas.
Specifically, they were thinking of a naughty Christmas.
The two creatives, often known for their piercing, thoughtful stage dramas, wanted to do a holiday production that was different.
“They’re readings of poetry, monologues, scenes and songs that are all related to people being naughty for Christmas that Santa doesn’t reward,” said Simon.
Called “Santa Hates Me: A Celebration of the Naughty in All of Us,” the one-night only event will be Dec. 20, 7 p.m. at the Bare Bones Theatre, 235 Forest Ave. For tickets visit the Laguna Beach Cultural Arts Center.
Performers will include Burton, Jason Feddy, Tom Shelton, Diana Burbano and Lionel Shelton.
Without wanting to give too much away, Simon said the first section will be about naughty children, poking fun at the morality poems dating back centuries.
The next section will be about naughty adults, and after intermission, it will get even racier. It may or may not include remakes of songs like John Prine’s “Let’s Talk Dirty in Hawaiian.”
Also, Feddy may or may not resurrect one his popular KX radio bits where he crafted songs from the police blotter, such as “You Can’t Beat Kids.”
One of Simon’s favorite songs, though, will be close to home for her.
“We took popular Christmas songs written by Jews and we rewrote the lyrics, like, this is what the Jews were really thinking,” she said, chuckling.
Simon said growing up she and her friends always “had a chip on our shoulder” about Christmas.
“Somewhere I came across this statistic, and I don’t know if it’s accurate or current, but 70% of world’s population isn’t Christian,” she said. “So it’s kind of interesting that we make such a big fuss over Christmas. We just wanted to make fun of it all. I don’t know if there’s a nice way to say that.
“It’s fun and off-color but it’s not horribly sexy.”
We’re hoping that means it will be wonderfully sexy.
